Oh my! Look at those stars…

On our ride home Sunday afternoon, we began to discuss the weekends events and the best way to share them here.  If John were to write the story, it may sound a bit like something out of a Thursday evening sit-com.  If Katie were to write, it may take the appearance of Wonder Woman meets the Louvre.  So, we’ll give you the story together.

Another topic of conversation was the title.  We suggested a string of one word descriptors for each major event.  John focused more on relevance, where Katie focused on chronological… we agreed on the descriptors, it was the order that we stumbled on.  The descriptors?  (not in any particular order) Shivers, F’nheimers, OMG Look at those stars!, Chainsaw maniac, We’re finally here!, GO GO GO!, Deep snow, Freedom!!!, Best laid plans.  Katie also thought a good title would be “how to survive the wilderness and what NOT to do”.  We ultimately decided to use just one descriptor,  one that took our breath away.

We’re finally here! – Katie:  Closing day is finally here!  Once the final closing date was set, our excitement really started to build.  Months of anticipation was finally coming to fruition, and we were about to embark on making our dream a reality!  Since we knew the date was approaching, we laid out a plan for the first weekend, and the goals we needed to accomplish.  We had two main tasks, number 1: Clear the driveway and main path to the first clearing, where we would set up our temporary campsite.  Number 2: carefully deconstruct the old homestead down to the main floor to use for future camping space for not only us, but for all of our amazing family and friends who share our excitement in our new venture.  We made a list of items we needed to pack, and were so excited to begin our journey, we left almost immediately after closing to get to work.  We made the three hour drive, checked into a motel in Two Harbors (approximately 20 minutes way from our land) and had dinner at a local pub to celebrate becoming land owners as well as St Paddy’s day (hey, I may have a bit of Irish in me, I chose to celebrate as often as possible).  We woke at six am the next morning full of excitement and energy, and drove to our land to accomplish our tasks at hand!!

Chainsaw maniac – John: When Katie made the request for her own chainsaw, the sum total of her chainsaw experience was helping me cut up a birch tree in the back yard, as well as a couple of “try it Katie” cuts with a close friend.  I schooled her in the tried and true “do as I say, not as I do” method passed down to me by my dad and older brother.  Christmas day, she felled her first tree – a massive 6″ diameter ash by the chicken coop.  Although the 18″ Poulan Pro, in custom pink, was heavy in her hands, once we arrived at our property, I set her loose on the driveway.  We had to clear enough pine bows and trees to successfully navigate with an ATV.  I took my own machine and worked one side of the drive, while Katie tackled the other.  It was a Waldorf version of dueling chainsaws… music in the northwoods made of 2 cycle harmonies ringing through the trees.  We made awesome headway, and I only heard one cry for assistance, when a 20′ tall pine started leaning the wrong way and pinched her blade.  She responded in a way that can only make a husband proud… she one handed her machine and used the other to muscle the timber in the other direction.  An exclamation of “NEVER MIND!” put a smile on my face and confidence in her learning.  On Sunday, two tasks were laid out; pack up camp, and finish cutting the main trail.  I offered her a choice expecting her to choose to pack things up… what I got, was a view of her walking off with a chainsaw warming up.  She’s a chainsaw maniac, and I love it!

Best laid plans – Katie:  The two times we drove up to the property prior to purchasing it, we spent a short amount of time looking at the old homestead.  We knew it was not repairable, most of it had fallen down, but we were hoping to salvage as much of it as possible for use on other projects.  We had the hopes of taking down all of the walls that were leaning against trees (very carefully) and salvaging the floor to use as a future site to set up tents for us and others that wanted to help us.  It is in a nice protected spot for camping, and with a few well placed tarps, could offer a nice spot to bed down for the night (did that sound animal like??).  So, we took a much needed break from cutting the main trail (because my out of shape arms felt like a pile of shaky goo at this point) to go begin to deconstruct the walls.  Armed with tools, we set off to do some careful damage to the homestead.  Even through the thick layer of snow, once we really started looking at it, we quickly realized that the floor was mostly rotted through, and was not salvageable in the slightest.  The walls are still in decent shape, but with the amount of frozen white stuff everywhere, we decided that deconstructing it was not the safest or most efficient use of our time on our first trip.  Oh well, even though the best laid plans didn’t work out, we had no issue switching gears to work on other things (seriously…there are so many things to be done, it was not a big deal).

GO GO GO! – John:  Our property consists of rolling hills.  Hills, that upon first glance, are really not that impressive.  By the topographical maps, our biggest rise is close to thirty feet in elevation change.  The first real sign that life somehow has an uncanny way of disrupting your expectations came while hauling gear into our campsite.  From the entrance of the driveway to the clearing where we camped is roughly about an eighth of a mile.  It slopes downward at two points.  The first point is from the start, running for about one hundred feet.  In this section, the elevation drops maybe ten feet.  The other is near the end, and drops about 17 feet over maybe 50 feet.  The problem is never going downhill… always UP the blasted hill.  As you’re headed up the hill towards the entrance to the driveway, the path takes a slight turn, and for the time being,  involves navigating some rather large snow drifts.  It was during my third or fourth trip that I learned that ATV’s should really be called “AATV’s” – “Almost” All Terrain Vehicle.  Just at the base of the hill, the snow gave way to my tires and I lost traction.  After a long walk back to camp for a shovel, a little digging, and some worry as to whether or not I would die from hypothermia after the copious amounts of sweat cooled my body down, I was ready to try again.  I backed up a bit, took a run, and got stuck again.  I repeated my efforts a few more times and finally!, I moved passed the bad spot.  I gave that little machine all the throttle she could handle, repeating in my mind over and over “GO GO GO!”  Life lesson:  When you find momentum, don’t stop, GO!

Deep snow – Katie:  The snow pack was two feet deep.  On Sunday, after the camp fire died out, John stepped into the hole where the fire had melted the snow.  Even though the fire had burned through the night, melting the nearby snow, it was still up to his knees.  Good story right?  I bet you were expecting a long paragraph.  Nah, just wanted you to see there was a lot of snow.

OMG Look at those stars! – John: For those who have never made their way outside the burning city lights, I humbly beg you, go to a place where the only visible lights are the dim glow of campfire embers and the stars above.  Something magical happens when you escape the confines of the city and head into the wilderness – you realize how truly small… and wonderful you are.  After dinner, with the camp fire burning, the breeze dying down, and the sun setting in the distance, time began to slow.  It felt as though a calm had settled in, no birds calling, no coyotes yipping, no wind through the branches, just quiet.  I snapped this photo of the night sky at dusk because I loved the trees silhouetted against the dimming sky.  It was just about this time that I noticed the nights first star make an appearance.  What followed was so majestic, I found it hard to put into words.  I’ve been “up north” plenty of times in my life, and witnessed these same stars painted on a pitch black canvas, but just like each time before, it stole my breath.  Katie and I started pointing out constellations; Orion, Cassiopeia, the Dippers, Pleiades… soon we were telling stories of our childhood.  We even watched as a single bright satellite made it’s way from South to North over head.  We smiled and waved to the NSA and wished them a good night. Of all the excitement this weekend, the stars, by far, will be at the top of my favorite memories.  Maybe it was viewing them from “our” slice of heaven, maybe it was seeing them for the first time on our new adventure, maybe it was because beside me stood the woman who makes me happy, what ever it was, they seemed a bit brighter that night and twinkled just a bit more than usual.

Shivers – Katie:  First, let me preface this part of the story by explaining something about me.  Anyone that knows me KNOWS I am not a dramatic person.  I am about as laid back as they come, and have no problem “going with the flow” in difficult situations.  Ok, back to it…After our nice evening of star gazing and staying as warm as we could by the bonfire, it was time to hit the sack to rest up for the next day’s tasks.  We were prepared for winter camping, so we thought.  We had a nice queen sized sleeping bag that easily fit John, myself, and our dog.  John set up a small propane heater inside the tent a few hours ahead of bedtime to warm the tent up.  Once we crawled inside and snuggled up in the sleeping bag however, I quickly realized it was cold.  Okay, not cold, it was flipping freezing in the tent!  I was on the side that was closest to the heater, and I thought…oh man, is this thing even working??  John suggested I add a few layers, so I quickly donned his extra sweatshirt and bright orange wool socks.  Nope, I was still freezing.  Our beagle, Sami, was curled up inside the sleeping bag in-between us, generating a little bit of heat.  So, we both got as close to her as we possibly could without crushing her, to try to warm up.  I think that was by far the longest, most sleepless night I have ever spent.  I spent most of the night mulling over my options.  Can we take the puppers, get on the four wheeler, and drive back to the truck?  I envisioned if we did this, because it was pitch black outside, that one, both, or all three of us would get our eyes poked out by the branches from the trees we hadn’t finished cutting on the trail.  Could we make it to the truck, and find a nice warm hotel room that would serve us hot toddies, soup, and every other kind of hot items I could dream up?  I’m a pretty hardy girl, and very rarely complain, I’ve done my fair share of camping, but I was picturing that we were both going to die of either hypothermia, or carbon monoxide poisoning from that blasted heater that was doing NOTHING (okay, that was a little dramatic).

I was counting the seconds until morning, hoping that seconds were actually hours, to no avail.  Finally, when I thought dawn was approaching, I said to John “okay, look.  This is what we are doing.    We are going to take the coffee, percolator, and the dog, hop on the four wheeler, and go back to the truck to make coffee and sit in the heat until we are thawed out”.  I’m not typically demanding of anything, so this was pretty forceful coming from me.  I wasn’t sure what John would think…oh boy, she isn’t as hardy as I thought, or wow, here comes crazy Katie….  Instead, he said, sounds like a plan, I’m freezing. (Was that anti-climactic?)

As we sat blissfully inside the truck, with freshly brewed nectar of the gods, and heater on full blast, we began to discuss the plan for the day.  I was sore and tired, and mostly just wanted to go home.  So, we decided if we divvied up the work, we could get home much faster.  I volunteered to finish cutting the main trail (I really did that because I knew it would keep me warm) and John agreed to go break down the campsite.

 

F’nheimers – John:  I spent the better part of my life holding two titles that make me uniquely qualified to speak on this subject; Sailor and Construction Worker.  As a carpenter for the U.S. Navy Construction Forces (Seabees), I’ve learned to swear in several languages, on several continents.  Of all the words that would cause my mother to assault my taste buds with a bar of soap, I find the F’nheimer to be the most useful.  My Navy friends may say that I’m so skilled in it’s use, that in my lexicon, it replaces the comma.

It was no surprise,  after digging out the ATV, and learning the true depth of the snow pack, that when it came time to turn the truck around and head home, that the word would be employed again.  Katie was off collecting another load of gear to bring to the truck, and I had decided to unhook the trailer for greater ease of turning the truck around.  We drove in without difficulty, it was only 10 AM, easy day!, we’d catch lunch in Two Harbors at noon!  At approximately 10:03 AM on Sunday, I slid the shifter into “R” and slightly hit the gas.  About two seconds later as I felt the truck tires plunge into the snow up to the axles, I let the first F’nheimer fly.  I placed the truck into 4L, shifted into “D” and slowly climbed forward out of the holes, rolled about three feet (down hill), where my front tires assumed their position – buried.  Second F’nheimer flew, this one no longer muttered under breath.  Insanity (Defined by some) Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.  After two more tries, my truck had moved 10 feet in the wrong direction and my F’nheimer tally was increasing exponentially.  Katie had returned with a load of gear, and I calmly asked her to ride back to camp and get me a shovel.  She returned, and I got to digging.  As it turned out, when we drove in, we rode atop a crust that had formed on the snow.  As our tires passed above, it broke the crust, exposing what I can only describe as the F’ing sugar sand of snow.

If you notice, there are no photos of me digging the truck out.  As it would have it, getting your truck stuck in such a remote location, doesn’t leave you with thoughts of photography.  I’ll do my best to paint the F’ing picture.  Hmm?  What was that item I was going to buy for the ATV?  OH YEAH! An electric winch!  How handy that would have been.  They say that necessity is the mother of invention, well, I necessitied the hell out of this one.  I grabbed a 50′ length of rope, a cargo strap, and a block & tackle (intended for hoisting logs) and strung them together between the truck hitch and a tree.  Katie hopped behind the wheel and I manned the block & tackle.  Mechanical advantage was on my side, so with maximum effort and minimum effect, we moved the truck rearward a total of twenty feet… six F’ing inches at a time.  Three hours into the ordeal, the truck sat atop the incline, and all I had to do was spin it 180 degrees.  It was about this time, that I stopped using the F’nheimer, and uttered a prayer.  I’m not a particularly religious person, but after my request, things seemed to accelerate to the positive.  I had been using two metal ATV ramps I use for getting the ATV on the trailer, to get more traction by placing them behind the front tires.  In order to get turned around, I turned the steering wheel all the way to the left, placed the ramps in front of the tires, and drove the 3 feet forward that the ramps allowed.  I then cranked the wheel in the opposite direction and reversed the 3 feet.  This didn’t really change the location of the truck, but it did shift the front end in the direction I wanted to go by a couple of feet.  My efforts were rewarded after four hours of F’ing work, when the truck was pointed towards home, and I let fly one more F’nheimer… a joyous one!

Freedom!!! – Katie:  When John and I are in stressful situations, John is very vocal, gaining ideas from talking things through, while I am internalizing and analyzing everything.  This works well for us, because even though we might both be freaking out, I’m very quiet and plow through the situation until it is resolved, then deal with my emotions after the fact.  My lack of emotional reaction seems to be a calming agent for my sweet hubby.  But, I was completely freaking out (internally) when the truck was stuck.  We had virtually no cell signal, half a tank of gas, and no neighbors remotely close to us to get help.  I thought we were in serious trouble, and it was a long 4 hours until the truck was finally free and we were ready to hit the road.

Once we were driving down the U.S. Forestry road, I was completely elated.  I thought, WE ARE GOING TO LIVE!  I was beyond happy we were going home, I planned on having a well earned alcoholic beverage, hot bath, and a really really great night of sleep.  When we started approaching the point in the road, where it’s maintained and plowed, all of my bliss started seeping out of me like like letting the air out of a balloon.  I recalled when we were driving up Friday afternoon, it was snowing at a good clip.  Hum, un-plowed forest road versus maintained road…. Oh NOOOO!!!!  My balloon quickly ran out of happy juice when we both realized that they had plowed the maintained road…and left a huge plow ridge, effectively blocking us in.

I didn’t have much of a chance to start to digest this turn of events, when my husband shouted at me “I AM GOING FOR IT!” and stepped on the gas peddle to gain speed to jump this mountainous ridge in front of us.  With my right hand braced firmly on the ceiling of the truck, the other holding the dogs water bowl, my hubby launched the truck and the trailer into the air in hopes that we would land on the other side of freedom.   While we were in mid-air, I felt like I was Mel Gibson in Braveheart mentally screaming at the top of my lungs “FFRREEDDOOMM!!!!!”  We thudded down onto the other side of the ridge with such force, the truck shook like I had never felt before.  I was certain we broke a lot of things on that poor truck and trailer.  After John finished checking everything (shockingly nothing broke!!) we quickly regained our happiness back and realized we really did survive the weekend! We really were truly on our way to our nice warm home, where we would discuss all the changes we intend on making before we go back up to the land again.

So, until next time folks, stay safe and happy homesteading!

• (A very tired) John & Katie